it's back again...

Sigh.

You may think that I'm a pretty much holy person, like I share a close relationship with God and stuff, but there are also times when I hit the lowest of lows.

I strangely feel that God isn't in my life right now, perhaps He's right beside me, but I seriously can't feel Him right now. :(

I'm not sure what to do to get myself out of this situation. Boohoo.

Is God punishing me? Or am I punishing myself by listening to lies in my head? Or am I too self-conceited that I've blocked out what God is trying to say to me? I can't stand it when I can't feel God. Yet I don't know why this is happening.

On the other hand, I do know that God loves me. He's given so much to me, and told me many times in many different ways that I am His special child.

Feeling so muddled.

UPDATE:-
WOW. God's truly amazing. He answered my cries through E, who prayed for me over msn. He didn't even know my blog and I didn't even reveal that I was down or anything. It was truly amazing that E pinpointed whatever rubbish I was going through, even ones that I wasn't aware of! Thank God for showing me that He's always by my side. I am truly blessed by the mercy and grace of God. :D He works in truly amazing ways.

AMEN!