Nocturnal Reflections

It is past midnight and I have just reached home from work. It has really been a long day at work and I am putting on my headphones and listening to Chopin's Nocturne Op 9 no 2 which is so soothing. There are really alot of things on my mind these few days. I guess God is trying to tell me something but then I am really sometimes too tired to figure it out. I just feel so spent yet I have to actively tell myself to lift up my head and look forward. It is especially difficult when you are surrounded by people who are so negative about life at home and then you have to look at God only for inspiration. I would like to have someone to look up to here on earth, but I guess this is all part of the Christian life to look to God only. Ultimately, it is only in Him that we can put our trust. So I guess things will look up and I will somehow rediscover the joy of living this wonderful life with God by my side.

So I guess another major exercise finishes next week, I would have to get busy for any project that is handed to me cause everyone is on leave in June. Haha hopefully that turns out well too. Then I can only look forward to December for the next break which is more like getting busy again. Haha but I also remember that I should thank God for the nice trip to Europe that would not have been possible without His grace. Nevertheless, everything just seems so daunting now, perhaps it is because I am sleepy and tired now.

Now last two weeks I asked a youth whom I am mentoring to think about what his ambition or dream is. I also thought about mine. My dream is to travel around the world and meet people of all different cultures. I love meeting new people and been in places where the scars of modernisation are still scarce. I would also love to live near the sea and hear the sound of lapping waves before I sleep every night. I would love to every now and then be able to fly a small aircraft along the coastline and just open the window and breathe in the fresh sea breeze. Then I would also love to work as a lawyer or something in the legal industry, to face the mental challenge of finding the magical solution to convince the judge. I would love to wake up to nice pancakes and waffles with C at our porch, sipping coffee or tea while taking in the majestic scenery. I would also love to run along the coastline and watch the seagulls fly in and catch their breakfast while allowing the breeze to cool off my body. But I guess all this are just selfish dreams abt me, and I should look more towards the good of others. Sometimes I just feel so tired thinking about others that maybe inadvertently I want to think of myself.

But nvm I know I will get out of this knot soon enough. Before long I would be able to feel happy again~ I know it.