professions

drifting and confusion are not good things.
u'd wish we've some time together, but that's not meant to be.
if i'd control to turn back time, perhaps, i'd not be in this shit hole, living under a table by now.
perhaps i'd not have such insecurities abt a runaway girl, without the least care in the world
maniac deadlines do not help anything.
not knowing what sch's abt does not make things better.
what's this that's part philosophy, part finger-cutting, back-breaking labour, part design, part confusion abt?
people become friends, yes, but there's a fine line where competition lies. is it not?
escapism and idealism continue to be my main priority, though 'teh' has helped me a bit.
maybe i should wallow back in depression like not so long ago,
numb to all cares in the world, blaming everyone for everything,
this multi-layered confessions create a huge load on my back,
hunching me by the minute,
insecurities, more importantly, over-active pessimistic imagination are out to kill me.
what's more, there's no one to talk to, just cos there's no time
i see my friends more than i see u, the converse also true.
miscommunication, misunderstanding, 'mis-knowledge' are all mistresses of u and i
barriers that are seemingly impenetrable despite the long passage of time
i wish i could do what i really love
trapped in this system, i become another statistic, becoming only a thinking person,
apathy notwithstanding.
i'd have run away long ago, but with u i held on
but now i feel like running again, but i can't.
i join the rat race, each man his own,
but i can't stand such individualism
i need help
don't know where to look for it,
i don't think it's in u either. i don't know, prove me wrong
i don't express how i feel about u, except maybe only when i'm upset.
i wish the river could flow outside, but i tell myself not to
'u don't know me and i don't know u'.
that's been repeated over and over again
don't wish that to happen, don't know why it's happening.
just wish to break free from everything in the world.
just a simple slice would do
a shot of pain, blackness and delirium and a sudden peace.